So the last few weeks/months have been pretty stressful.
Stress is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you, it changes the way you feel about the world, and it can make you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Running a business in this climate changes things. We have been lucky not to experience any real changes, but when we go a month without getting any new work, or when I’m too bogged down to be getting new work, instead of thinking ‘ah well, next month’ you start to panic that it’s a sign of things to come.
On top of that, we run a very free and happy ship here and when that leads pretty quickly into being too free and easy and mistakes get made and no one is accountable, you start to question your fundamental beliefs about how a business should be run and WHY you bother in the first place to expand beyond being a freelancer.
I noticed that I started to change. I didn’t feel like ‘me’. I didn’t feel happy, motivated or even like I wanted to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go home every night and sleep.
This kind of stress is new for me. I am in control of it. I KNOW I can work out of it. I just need to get my act together and motor through everything on my plate, then find something I feel excited about and run with it. The thing is, despite the groans from everyone I know that I can’t just drop everything and head to Thailand, or the US or Michael Jackson in London, I’m actually not fussed about what I have to miss out on to make this happen.
This is what I want to be doing. I love it. But I need to find a way to ensure I don’t get stuck in this stress hole, I need to get some danger signs.
In the meantime, I ‘dealt’ with it by abandoning my cellphone, computer and all internet and electricity and went to the Marlborough Sounds for Easter. Despite having a million messages on my answering machine and more emails than anyone could handle on my return, I think it was worth it.
My head is clear, I remembered that the reason I do this is so that I can do that. And when you are faced with a pod of bottlenose dolphins desperately showing off, or leaping off the wharf into the pitch black ocean in the middle of the night, or dashing up and down a bush track finding clues for our easter egg hunt, it kind of puts stress in perspective.
Lesson of the month: Stress is awful. Getting de-stressed is top priority as is taking FULL advantage of the brilliance of your friends and business mentor to yell and scream and vent on for weeks on end until you see the light again.
As per ususal, I owe you guys a great big thanks.
Update (thanks to postsecret)